Let's feminist... Woman up! By Aduwa Otieno

Imagine a world where matriarchy was a thing…
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I prefer sitting at the back. Be it in a class or just at any other gathering. I take comfort in imagining that no one’s watching. It’s you doing the watching, silently judging.
This one time I’m in class, at my usual spot. Our beloved, PHD-holding, been-to-Nyayo-house lecturer, brings up an argument: women can’t run a family business. To support their case, they tell a story about a friend of theirs who got scammed by the wife. To seal his argument, he mentions something about "women knowing their place”. There was a round of applause. I was still reeling over that when a lady, few seats from this pathetic sexist, raised an objection. She seemed pissed, rightfully so. Even then, she maintained her cool and said something along the lines of “screw gender roles!” Not having a sensible counter to that, the teacher replied with a “read the bible” suggestion.
I imagine even the religious find that problematic. He used religion to justify a system that victimizes women.
Yes, it’s hard to make sense of anything that violates your sensibilities as a woman and a feminist. Our lady, perhaps sensing a likely defeat, gave up. I think walking out would have been a revolutionary act. What would Emma Goldman or Chimamanda Adichie do? Not sure about the latter, but the former, given her political leanings (she was an anarchist), would have thought of “direct action” of sorts. Something between a slap and a full blown assault. [Pauses to reflect on Adichie’s disapproval of Beyoncé’s brand of feminism]
It dawned on me that we’ve been doing it all wrong. We don’t need equality between the sexes, we need female supremacy. That’s why Lucy Ellmann has been making a strong appeal to me lately. Look her up. She identifies as a radical feminist. Oh, and she has that up-in-your-face attitude. In her rom-com novel titled Mimi, she argues for matriarchy. She attacks patriarchy head-on. She imagines most vile things as creations of men. Like war. And yes, she alludes to history to back up her claims. She even goes back to when matriarchy was a thing. Before men took over, then remodeled everything to fit the male worldview. To balance the scales, she makes a rather radical suggestion: men should surrender all their property, including money, to women of their choice. As a start she had her loving husband do that. [Pauses to read a Twitter thread about the classic ‘not all X are…’]
Look around. Why do you think that a lady, even with the glaring fact that high heels are a pain in the ass, is still rocking them? And the wig? The mini-skirt? You guessed right – men want it that way. She’s living in a world that’s unjustly a male set-up. Men hold the view that a woman’s only worth is their physical attractiveness. That’s why you have men, mostly white, overlooking Serena Williams’ achievements because she doesn’t meet their standards of beauty. ‘Oh look! She’s a good tennis player, but that only counts  if she has a pretty face too'. Maybe also layer that with the race issue. Black and beauty aren’t bedfellows, apparently.
Ever asked yourself why that ad just before the news o’clock is that of a pretty woman? We call it exploitation of female sexuality for profit-making purposes. Consumerism pairs up with misogyny and what you get is female sexuality commodified. (By the way, I’d bet an arm that capitalism is a man’s invention. Women, I think, are socialists)
“Sure, some people are attractive. But so what?” That’s Lucy Ellmann in one of her online articles critiquing the obsession with looks. Hollywood, for example, fosters this  kind of obsession. In Hunger Games, Katniss (played by Jennifer Lawrence) is a revolutionary. But, for maximum relatability, they had to make her beautiful. Not just that. In Home Sweet Hell, women are portrayed as manipulative beings and psychopaths. Men, on the other hand, are portrayed as hardworking and only women bring them down. [Pauses to read an article by Laurie Penny – Are You Man Enough for Birth Control?] Sometimes, though, they repackage ideals we cherish as feminists and then sell them back to us. They did a great job with The Suffragette and Carol.
Back to ‘not all men are’. I was under the impression that it’s obvious  this line of argument is bullshit when the problem in question is rather systemic. In the case of  racially motivated police shootings in the US, it never made any sense to counter criticisms of racism with a 'not all (white) cops are bad’. That alone wasn’t enough to discredit the Black Lives Matter movement. Borrow that line of thought when bothered with a tweet about men being trash. Imagine how wrong it is to call a woman sexist. She could hate men of all kinds -- good and bad. But given the lack of structural support (men have patriarchy), she can’t possibly be labeled as sexist. It could be prejudice on a personal level. Even then, that would be a stretch. Can a black person be racist? The answer is an obvious no. But some would still argue otherwise, clothing it in confusing terms like reverse-racism. [Pauses to curse why the front seats at Safaricom Jazz Fest were mostly occupied by whites]
Feministing is something one can do as long as it takes. There’s always so much to talk and rant about (in my case, mostly the latter, seeing that women have been victims for ages now). The take-home point is clear – men are trash (clearly repeated by those ‘woke’ individuals on Twitter ad nauseam). A reversal of things feels necessary. I want my mom as the head of the family. In place of oppressive patriarchy, let’s have loving matriarchy. Oh, and if you find Lucy Ellmann’s proposal okay, surrender your property to women, if a man. If a woman, asking your boyfriend or husband to do that would be a start.
I choose  to identify  as male, by the way.